The Signs.

Mom, Mommy, words every mother greatly anticipates hearing from their children as soon as they start babbling. But imagine a mother living in a world where she is faced with the reality that her child may never speak, yet alone say the words mom or mommy. This is my reality. What I would give just to hear my child say those words.

Twelve years ago I gave birth to a beautiful, bouncing, baby boy. I was both scared and excited at the prospects of being a new mom but hopeful and optimistic nonetheless. This was going to be a whole new experience with endless possibilities for my son. He was like any typical boy growing up. He met all his milestones early or on time. He was sitting up at six months old, walking at nine months old and very active. He was just as curious as other kids and enjoyed doing typical stuff most kids enjoyed doing such as playing with toys, swinging on swings and playing in the dirt.

Although he hit all his milestones and would babble from time to time I began to observe after he turned one going onward that there wasn’t much progress being made in the area of speech. He was unusually always quiet and wasn’t saying any words. I told myself that he was probably just going to be a late talker. After all he was an only child with no siblings to copy or socialize with. One year jumped to two and my son still wasn’t talking.

My son had the ability and desire to play by himself for hours on. But again I thought he was an only child so he was just trying to entertain himself. But then, even when we would go out or be in settings where other adults and children were present he continued to show little or no desire to interact. Maybe he was just a shy person. After all, his mom was. I can recall him being out sometimes and people would say, oh he is such a quiet boy.

Then there was the constant lining of toys. They would be lined up with a certain precision and if someone tried to change anything he would protest. At times it seemed more like an obsession than just child play. Again, I thought this might just be his way of playing plus I had no previous children to compare him to.

I also noticed that my son would very rarely maintain eye contact with anyone. You would almost have to hold his face using both your hands as blinders to get some eye contact and even then, he would still be easily distracted by whatever his obsession was at the moment. Again I brushed it off, didn’t pay much attention or take it too seriously. I thought that’s just probably him being a curious child.

With him now past the age of one going on to two I voiced my concerns to his pediatrician. He still thought that my son could just be a late talker but referred me to some specialists to remove any other possibilities from the equation. It was during my visit that my child would receive the diagnosis I feared; but in hindsight and retrospect the signs were all there.

An Homage To Mark Zuckerberg and the Facebook Autism Community

     Who would have thought or imagined that one day by the click of a button, a single mom raising a child with autism would be able to connect with millions of other moms and dads in a similar situation from all over the world? Who would have thought that from the comfort of your living room, your kitchen, your office, a restaurant or a coffee shop that one would be able to connect to a crucial online support community that would become beneficial in coping with having a child with autism?

     Who would have thought that one day, by the click of a button, one would be able to create a forum to share our stories, our struggles, our grief, our pain, our triumphs, our accomplishments, our fears, our experiences of having a child on the autism spectrum, our hopes, our dreams, our challenges and our funny stories?

     Well thanks to Mark Zuckerberg, the creator of Facebook and a long list of Facebook pages we can, and we have! We now have the ability to create online support systems, that might not have been available in our immediate physical communities, to have dialogues and conversations with other moms and dads from all over the globe. We can connect with others who have children with autism and who not only know the intricacies of the condition but understand very well what you go through on a daily basis. We have been able to form new friendships and create new bonds with people who simply ‘get it’. 

     Today there is an online autism community existing on Facebook that  not only helps to raise awareness about autism but create and foster support systems that are beneficial to parents, children, siblings and loved ones who are affected by autism. There are several Facebook groups and pages available some of which might be suitably tailored for your needs or requirement from a support group. If you are a single mom raising a child with autism you might want to check out the Facebook page Single Mothers Who Have Children With Autism. If you are looking for a dad’s perspective on having a child with autism you could check out Autism Daddy’s page. In need of finding resources for your child with autism, then you could also visit Autism Speaks just to name a few of my faves. Last but by no means least my FB page: Tales Of A Single Mom Raising A Child With Autism 

     Again I would like to express sincere gratitude and appreciation to Mark Zuckerberg and the rest of the Facebook autism community for directly or indirectly helping to create and facilitate a great resource that benefits and brings together millions of individuals from all over the world in one common place, bound together by one common thread – a loved one with autism.